Celebrating 3 months of Normal Lies!

Welcome to Episode 15 of the normal lies podcast. Today's episode marks the three month anniversary of the launch of normal lies. Can't believe it. In celebration of this milestone, we are replaying Facebook Live launch party, I asked my friend and colleague Ileana ferratas to host this event. But I wasn't sure if it would even happen because Ileana lives in New York City, so we had to meet on zoom and then stream through Facebook. We held our breath. And even though there were glitches, you will hear how we made it work. Thanks to my support team who showed up and helped us through. You are about to hear some behind the scenes stories about how normal lies came to be including how the name was created, as well as the story behind the cover art. Ileana then turns the tables by asking me to answer the questions I asked my guests at the end of their interview. Launching This podcast was one of the scariest things I've done in my life. The voice in my head questioned Who do you think you are to do a podcast? Will anyone even listen to this? My bet is you've had similar thoughts when you've leaped outside your comfort zone. This podcast was something that I felt pulled to do even in the face of the doubting voice in my head. I at least had to give it a try. And I hope you will as well. Thank you for your support over the last three months to all of you who have emailed texted left a review to tell me how this podcast has impacted your life. I love to hear from you. So be sure to leave a review and let me know what you liked and how I can better serve you go to my website, normal dash lies calm and you will find a brief video tutorial on the homepage showing how to leave a review on to the party. If you're looking for a one size fits all easy approach to changing your life. This is not the podcast for you. However, if you're ready for a change, then you are in the right place. Listen to conversations that are real, raw, compelling, thoughtful and believe it or not fun. I'm Linda Heeler, professional certified coach and host of the normal lies podcast. During my 10 years of coaching I have helped dozens of people change their lives simply by questioning the beliefs they thought were true. It's time to let go of stress and anxiety and be excited to get out of bed in the morning. Life doesn't have to be so happy it's your turn to uncover normal lies in your life. Oh he says meeting is now streaming live on Facebook. Well, I hope so now we just got to figure that out. And I got to figure out how I how I can tell because all right, so it helped me people if you are watching this somehow leave a message because I can't tell whether anybody is watching this or we are live my little button says live on Facebook. So a little button if your little button says live on Facebook then you should be able to see the questions streaming underneath. Yeah, but all I see is zoom right now. So people are probably so really bored. So but you know what people if you I think if you put them in maybe they'll come up on my phone my phone notifications. So yeah, so anybody please Is there anybody out there? anyway? watching live Oh my gosh. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Oh, yes. So my daughter just texted me. We are live on Facebook. Thank you so much. Oh my gosh, we did it. That was the scariest part was trying to figure out if I was actually going to be able to do it. So Eliana, thank you so much for being here with me and doing this and agreeing to do this madness. With me, it is an honor and a privilege, my friend. I love you. Yeah. Well, I love you too. And hopefully the the people that are watching are my family and friends mostly and uh, yes. And so I just want to introduce you to Ileana so Ileana and I met we were just trying to figure figure it out was it was 2009 Yeah, May of 2009. Right. We were both trying to decide what Coach training program we were going to go to and and I went to a workshop flew from Rochester to New York City to do a workshop for a program and Ileana mutual friend. We had a mutual friend. Oh, yes, we did. Right? Yes. My first coach. Yeah, yeah, my friend. And your friend Craig. Yes, yes. Yes. I love Greg. So um, yeah. So we were in the same workshop. And I just remember that, you know, we met and I just instantly liked you. I think we just had an instant connection. We just bonded? Yeah. And I gotta tell you this, I got to tell you this little story and then we will get on to normalize. I promise. Okay, okay. Yeah, no, I just gotta tell you this. This, this little story is. So you do you remember you called me after that? Like after the after the workshop? And you called me like a week later. And you were asking me all these questions. Oh, yeah, I pick your brain. Yes, I do. Remember I do. What are you gonna do? make up my mind, and I need you to help me make? And of course, yeah, that was your stuff, right? And my stuff was like, Who is this woman? She scares the dickens out of me. She She called me. Why did she call me? I was trying to connect. And I was just like, yeah, that was that was me. You know, being really scared. So um, oh. So anyway. My daughter's giving me tips. She's texting me tips. I love it. Oh, this is awesome. She's the director. Yes. Yes, she is. So anyway, so it was so it's so funny, because like, I really liked you. But you really scared me because you just had this bubbly, outgoing personality, at least what I saw is my interpretation. And yeah, and you and I was just like, this scared little housewife from, you know, a rural town, you know, and you're from the big city. stuff you want to? Oh my god. Yeah. So anyway, so and our relationship has just grown over the you know, since 2009. And I am just so grateful for your relationship. And so it was actually my daughter, who recommended She goes, why don't you you know, for your launch party? Why don't you do a Facebook Live? And I'm like, okay, and she's like, yeah, and you could have kind of, you know, have somebody kind of interview you and, and I said, Oh, okay, I go, I don't know who that Well, how about. So I'm happy to be here. And I'm so happy and so excited about this. This is such a big deal. And it's like, it's awesome. It's awesome that you're doing this. It's It's It's just the best. I'm I'm so proud of you. I'm so like, moved and inspired. And you're doing it. I love it. Thank you. Thank you so much. That means a lot. That means a lot. So what we're gonna do right now is for the next 20 minutes or so. I'm going to talk about normal lies and how it came to be. And Ileana is going to keep me on track. And she's a great question. asker cuz she's a coach. This is awesome. This is a podcast. We are doing a podcast, launch party on zoom. And because you have a podcast. No, I get it. One thing I got to show I had to show everybody saw. Yes, Ben came up with this balloon for me. So proud of you. And that's how you keep a marriage going. He's so sweet. He is. So anyway, okay. I didn't mean to interrupt. Go ahead. No, no, no, you're fine. I want to know what caught what like I've never asked you these questions before. I don't know the answers. So I'm like, I'm really actually really curious about these things. Right. So like, how come the podcast Why? Well, I have been thinking about a podcast for a while. And it's so funny how the universe just kind of opens up But a podcast I love to write. But I got really discouraged because I really, really suck at marketing myself. So it was just, you know, basically friends and family, reading, writing my writing and, and I would share it with clients and stuff like that. But I thought, oh, there's this message that I want to get out. And there's just, I just the writing isn't doing it. So I love listening to podcasts. And I love it because I feel really connected to the person doing the podcast. And because it's so personal. And I love radio, too. I love talk radio. And we have, we have a radio personality here in Rochester, that he's just him. And he is one of my favorite people in the world, even though Well, I have met him briefly, but he's just him. He's authentically him. And I just feel he lives his life on the radio. And he tells his mistakes, and I just thought, you know, he just tells everything. He's not embarrassed about anything. And I just thought that to me, is how you live joy. And so I just said, You know, I want to create a podcast because I want to create connection like that. So So basically, that's why a podcast as awesome. And like, it's, it's a pretty, it's a pretty cool name. How'd you come up with that concept, that name? Well, so I have to tell you, I worked with a couple of podcast coaches, Jacqueline Malone, and farnoosh Torabi, they did this program. And what's really funny is Jacqueline, I know Jacqueline, I met her back, when I first started my coaching practice back I believe it was like 2010 2011. And we were both part of a networking group here in Rochester, and and then you just kind of lost touch. And then in the last couple years, I heard that she was doing a podcast, I was listening to her podcast, and she's another one that she's just she and farnoosh. They're just who they are. And they just have created this following. And I just love to listen to both of them. And then Jacqueline was asked to speak at one of our networking programs or events about podcast and how to start your own podcast. And I listened to her and I just I said to my husband, I go, oh my gosh, I want to do this. I just feel pulled to do this. And so so starting in first of January, I think it was January 4 of that first Monday, we started I started this program with them. And it was eight weeks to launch your podcast. And so they had us do all of this great groundwork. And, you know, asking you questions, why do you want to do a podcast? What's your message? Why you know why? What's so special about you that makes you want to do this? And so I was able to figure that out. And as I was doing the writing and that you know, just drilling down into it. Then it's like, Okay, well, how do you got to come up with your name. And week, I came up with a ton of names. And they were all either taken because there's a ton of podcasts out there. They were all either taken, or I didn't really care for them. And then so then I would go back we had this wonderful Facebook group for those of us who were in Jacqueline and furnishes group. And so we would post in there our ideas, and people would say, Yeah, I like this, or I don't like this, or have you thought of this. And the ladies in there were so fantastic. And just the supportive nature of that group was awesome. So we came up with some names, but they didn't really hit. And then, I mean, this was a long time. And I'm like, I got to come up with this name. So I asked my daughter, my daughter, Amanda and, and I said, here's, here's, here's my, my thing, this is what it's about. And so she came up with a bunch of things. And one of the things that she came up was what it from my writing. Yeah, was the normal lie. And I'm like the normal lie, the normal. I like that. And then I stepped away from it. And then I came back and I just go, oh, what was that name? Normal lies, normal, normal life normal lies. And that was min. So and then I took it back to the group and said, What do you think and then I asked my clients, then I put it out on Facebook and said guys, and I had like Two others that tested really high. So I put the three out there but normalise was that was it. Like that was the name? I love it. Yeah. And what's the reaction been like? So, you know, you've been sharing this a lot with tons of people along the way. Go Amanda, Amanda for the wind. So like, what, what's the reaction been? What's the public reaction? Oh, well, you know, I, it's, it's awesome. Because I have the most supportive group of people in my life. It's, I'm just, I'm blown away by the support that I have received. I've reached out and asked, I mean, this whole step of the way, I feel like it's been like a group effort. And because and that's what this is all about. It's the normalize is about creating relationship and creating your community and finding your people. And so I just feel really grateful that I have found my people and they have been so supportive and excited for me. And there, the the message is resonating. I'm in. So it's really been, it's been wonderful. Everybody's been fantastic. It's so great to have such an awesome support system. And it's like, it's one of the things that we we say, as coaches is like, the foundation of everything. So that's awesome. So when will we get to see these new episodes? or hear these new episodes? or What what? When can we expect? So they will drop? There'll be a new episode every Wednesday, every Wednesday, every Wednesday, and I just, I am finishing up the first interview, I'm editing that at this point. And so you will get an interview next to a with somebody, will it be on your page or it'll be? Yeah, it'll be Apple podcasts. And, and I'm working on trying to figure out how to get it other places. It's on Spotify, as well, Spotify and Apple podcasts. And if you go, if you go to my I don't have, well, actually you can go to normal dash lies comm and it will take you to a page that will have links to it. But the thing that you need to do though is if you subscribe, then you will get a notification when a new episode drops. So subscription is paramount. Right? You'll be the first to know. Awesome. So um, are we getting any questions from from the live? Audience? Well, so this is. So my again, my daughter, I let's see my support system. Do you see what I got here? I mean, how awesome is this? I just asked for help. And I got it. So she is the Facebook, live chat. This is from my friend Michelle. And she says I have a question, what kinds of lies Will you be destroying with your knowledge and wisdom? And then that's an exclamation point. Michelle, that is not a question mark. She said, I am so excited to learn from you. Well, yeah, just to kind of briefly answer your question, which isn't a question. But yeah, we're going to talk about a lot of different things. We're going to talk about parenting, we're going to talk about, we're gonna talk about relationships, we're going to talk about trauma. We're going to talk about career, we're going to talk about racism, and we're not going to just talk about personal so we're going to talk about both personal lies like that voice in your head. What are the stories that it makes up? But we're also going to talk about our systemic lies, lies that we've been born into, or lies that we have been raised with, that are not just unique to us, even though we think that they are, but they're not. They're everywhere. And I think if we can handle both of those, oh my gosh, we're gonna change the world. And that's what coaching is. I mean, that's what you know, that's what Eliana does too. I mean, I just love it. We're both there. Okay, any other questions? Cuz I got some. All right. Let me see. Let me just see if we got here. Nothing so far, I think. Okay, go ahead. Well, so I'm there. I wanted to know what the significance of the the to read els's on your cover art. Yeah, so Okay. This is this is me, being me. There basically is no significance. It's so funny because it's Yes, exactly. That's exactly it. So, this again, like I said, this is me being me, and I'm sorry, it's getting dark here, my natural light is going away. Some turning up my light from my computer. But anyway, so there's a funny story. I'm going to tell you can I tell you a story about my cover art? Yeah. Okay. And I got to keep keep track of the time here. So this, the funny story about the cover is, so I had somebody do the cover art, and gave them now my my brand Live Inspired life coaching. That's my my coaching business. And I've got my brand for that. And my logo, and my colors are blue, and green. And I've got this really pretty logo that I still love to this day. And so I sent them, I sent them all that information, send them my logo, send them my colors, then on my font, because you're supposed to in business, you're supposed to keep everything uniform, right? Yeah. Well, I get the the first mock ups back, and I am like, yeah, and he's like, I just don't feel right. So I asked for some revisions, and they did some revisions, and they sent them back and they were better. You know, it's like, okay, you know, yeah, okay, I could pick one of these. Well, again, I shared with my family with my daughter. And she's, she's just like, Oh, mom. She said, my husband does stuff like this. You need to let him go, would you? Would you be willing to let him take a go at it? And I'm like, you know, what's her husband mean? Really. So I did it. And I sent him the same thing. I sent the other people right, again, in alignment with my business. So he comes back, and he's keeping it in alignment with the business. And then and he sent me a ton of different options. In one of them, you see the picture of me It had I have a red jacket on. And I actually that jacket was red when I had the photo taken. And he took that and he made the red jacket pop, and then you know, the black and the white. And so he started with that. And I kid you not. And I did not tell anyone this. But it was funny when I pictured in my head. The cover for the podcast. It was there was red in it. It was it was red, and black and white. I didn't I didn't couldn't see it, but I could see those colors. And I didn't tell him that. And so to be Yes, yes. Hello. But I've gotten pushback from my marketing friends. Because again, I suck at marketing. And so and no, no, no. Well, but I shouldn't say push back, you know, I got I got concern, which that again, here's my community reaching out and having my back saying, look, Linda, this doesn't match your branding. Like, are you sure you want to do this. And they were so wonderful and so honest and caring, and and I just took it as oh my gosh, they love me so much they want they want me to succeed. And so I and I also this is, you know, this is about me trusting my instinct and my intuition. And so I you know, I said thank you, I really appreciate it. And this may be a mistake. But it's my mistake to make and I'm you know, and I can change it right? Nothing is set in stone. And if it if it doesn't resonate, if I end up I don't like it or something happens. We can always change it. Well, and there are different entities, right? Like one is, it's like radio and television. It's like it's not, it's not exactly the same thing. So good for you. If we're up and the two L's Oh, and here's, here's another thing that was really brilliant. I don't look at the podcasts like in the podcast thing. I just pull them up and look at them. But she so we had the picture flipped, and we had normal lies down so normal and then the L's were the same and that's why there was a red l there. But what happened was when there's a new podcast, there's a little yellow thing that pops up in the upper right hand corner. And that says new and so you it covers up the ELLs and it looks like normal, like normal normal eyes or something like Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so so. So my son in law, Tim, he just flipped it. So he flipped so that now the podcast they are the new comes up on my head, rather than, you know, covering up the name. And so then he had, you know, normal wise how it is now and then he had the two red owls. And then he's like, I don't Yeah, but that, you know, that looks weird. And again, man, it's like, man, why do you have the red owls? And I'm like, I don't know. I just like it. Yeah, for some reason, it just, I just like it. All it is. So you know, it's so funny. I had people coming up to me saying, so what's the significant of the else is it? You know what, and they're trying. They're like they're trying to guess. And so it's like, Hey, this is awesome. So, anyway, I love it. Okay, so, I know that on your episodes, when you interview people, you actually ask them to complete sentences. Right? So I wanted to know if you would do that for us. Okay. Yeah, so these Yeah, these are the questions I or the sentence. I asked him to complete the sentences at the end of the interview and the the interview. Yeah, so, yeah. Okay. Okay, good way to end. The most important thing I learned or best piece of advice that I received when I was younger is okay, so this is a hard one. Because I've received a lot of good advice over the years. One that I think is really stuck with me is from a dentist that I work for, because I was a dental hygienist for many, many years before I became a coach. And he, he trained me, and then I train a lot of new employees and our office. And he always said, don't get frustrated with people, if you tell them something, and they don't get it right away. It usually takes people three times to hear something and do it. And so I've remembered that and that's been really helpful, especially with my children, but especially with my husband. Just hold up a number three. Hey, buddy, I've told you twice isn't the last time. Okay. One lie that I wish I had discovered sooner is that I thought I had to be perfect in order to be be deserving of love and acceptance. Yeah, definitely a lie. Good that you figured that one out? Everybody does. Good. I know. Just existing, you are deserving of love and acceptance. salutely. Yeah. Yeah. The thing that makes you authentically you is I think, I think that I'm, I'm a good listener. And I think that what we're, and I think that I'm really good at putting people at ease. And I think it's something that I learned through my years as a dental hygienist. Why? Yeah, I prided myself that we, our office was really good for people who did not like going to the dentist. And my greatest thing I would just loved was when someone said would come in, they were terrified to come in. And then they would leave and they'd say, No, that wasn't that bad. I think I'll come back. Yeah, so yeah, so I think I learned that skill there. Well, and it is the thing that makes you It's like you're super zen, like super Zen. love that about you. Um, if you had a magic wand that could make everyone in the world believe one thing, what would it be? I think that it would be that there's nothing wrong with them. And I hope that if people think that there is something wrong with them, then I I hope that they will reach out to a trusted friend. Or if they really feel like there is something wrong because I have had that like there is really something wrong. Reach out to a therapist or to a coach and just find somebody to talk to, to talk through that that stuff. So I just really, I really hope that that's what people do. And two really great questions or sentences By the way, how can we as a community support you? realize, well, what I said earlier, subscribe to the podcast, please rate it, leave a review that really helps share it. I mean, this is meant to be shared, I'm looking to create community here, and then start a conversation, or I think the conversations already been started. But I think we need to, I want to take it on a different trajectory. And so I I really, I love conversation and if you disagree with me, I love I would love to hear what your thoughts are. Kindly, politely tactfully, please, that I, I really, I yes, I require that I need but I am open to feedback. And I am open to hearing other people's opinions. That's how I have formed my opinions today is by listening to other people. And so hold on one second. I got a text here. Oh, okay. I do have one question. One One more question before we wrap up. So some of the people that I'm going to be interviewing my next one, I'm gonna, I'm gonna tease that one. But we are going to be talking this was a really difficult interview for me, I wouldn't say difficult was very vulnerable for me, the one that drops next Wednesday, and we're going to talk about parenting, and especially parents working parents, and we're going to talk about mom shaming, and just, it's, it's a really great episodes, you're gonna want to listen to that. And then I have this lovely woman, going going to talk about trauma and trauma coaching, someone that might be on the call here with me right now. So we have that coming up. Now we're going to be talking to Hannah Morgan, who is she works with me, she's called the career Sherpa. And she's going to talk about careers and about the job situation now, because we're in a really funny job situation. And we're gonna talk about the the myths and the stories. And are they true, still true today? And so what really is true? And then what's the forecast moving forward of career? So what are the lies there? So there's, there's a few and I've got, I've got some others, too, that I've got a woman that I don't want to say it until I actually get the interview. And like she said, Yes, but I just want to get the interview, like recorded, but it's we're going to be talking about racism. And it's going to be I know, it's going to be a great conversation. She's someone who has worked in the area of anti racism for many, many years. And she's an expert on it. So and I admire her so much. So that's a little bit of what we got coming up. Hello, good. Yay. tz Tz. Yeah, so I just before we before it, was there anything else? Was there. Any other here? And we figured out how to contact you and how people can reach out to you should they want coaching or should they want to be a part of your podcast? We got all that. Yeah, so if you want to reach me well, so first of all, if you if you have a question for me, you can leave it in the review. And you can also let me know if there's a subject that you are you know, want me to talk about I can find an expert or if you have a question about whatever I my goal is to also do like a q&a episode, every now and again. So if I get some questions, then I will do that episode. Yeah, and so you can either leave your comments your questions there, I do. I do. I will read all of them and I'm going to share one a month on the podcast. And then also you can contact me here through Facebook. You can also email me, Linda at normal dash lies.com or if you have a few already have my Live Inspired life coaching comm email, Linda at Live Inspired life coaching comm you can reach me there. So anyway, thank you so much, Ileana. It's been a pleasure. I'm so happy for you. I'm so proud of you and I Can't wait to listen to your podcasts. Thank you so much. Love you. Love Your Work. Love your face. I love your face by if you have a topic you'd like covered on normal lies or if you're interested in setting up a free coaching consultation with me, go to normal dash lies.com and click on the Contact page to send me a message or click on the blue microphone icon at the bottom right of the page to leave a voicemail right there on my website. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks again for listening. Until next time, make it a great day.